


Already Home

by natashasbanner



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: F/F, Long-Distance Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-05
Updated: 2016-10-25
Packaged: 2018-08-19 15:02:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8213420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/natashasbanner/pseuds/natashasbanner
Summary: When Patty gets the chance to finally finish her History degree, she got to take it right? There's only one problem, it's at the University of Michigan. That means almost a year away from New York, away from the team, away from Holtzy. Nobody said long distance relationships were easy, but neither of them expected it to be this hard. 
If only New York wasn't so far away.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired to write this when I heard the song Already Home by A Great Big World, hence the title. It's a lovely song and I suggest you give it a listen if you want all the feels (or to cry uncontrollably). 
> 
> Also, thank you to cassiopeiasara for beta-ing this story for me. You're the best :) 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own these characters or that song.

“Kevin, did the mail come yet?” Abby called out to their oblivious receptionist from her desk. 

No response. 

“Kevin!” Erin yelled from Abby’s side. “Where is he?”  

They both looked over to find Kevin’s desk empty, but all of his belongings still scattered over the reception area. Suddenly there was a loud thump followed by the desk shaking. Kevin’s head popped up from under the desk and he smiled at the pair. 

“Yeah boss?” 

“Why are you under the desk?” Abby questioned, barely keeping herself from rolling her eyes. It was always something new with Kevin.

“My chair’s gone,” Kevin explained nonchalantly.

Abby started to point out that his chair was in fact right beside his desk, but Erin cut her off before the pointless conversation could continue.

“Do you have the mail?”

“Up top.”

Kevin pointed to the pile of envelopes balanced precariously on the corner of his desk. Erin let out a slow breath as she stood from her seat to retrieve the mail. She flipped through the pile, most of it junk with a few bills, and one thick envelope from the University of Michigan addressed to Patty.

A tiny, excited squeak escaped her before she showed it to Abby.

“I’ll be right back.”

She dropped the junk mail in front of Abby and then headed for the stairs to find Patty. It wasn’t a hard task; Patty was sitting on a stool at Holtzmann’s workbench while the engineer excitedly showed her the new weapons she’d been working on. Most of the jargon still went over Patty’s head, but she listened intently and nodded along enthusiastically all the same.

“Erin,” Holtzmann exclaimed excitedly when she caught sight of the other woman lingering near the stairs. “You’re just in time for the demonstration.”

“I thought we talked about firing weapons indoors,” Erin quickly reminded the engineer at the same time Patty shook her head and took the prototype out of Holtzmann’s hands. Just to be safe. 

“What’s going on Erin?” Patty asked. It wasn’t unusual for Abby or Erin to wander to the second floor when they were just working around the firehouse, but Erin still hadn’t said why she’d come up there and her staring was getting to be a little unsettling.

“Um, this just came for you,” she said, moving over to the workbench and holding out the envelope for Patty to take. 

Patty’s smile dropped when she saw where the letter was from.

“What’s that?” Holtzmann asked, noticing the sudden shift in Patty’s demeanor. She looked between Patty and Erin, but neither was forthcoming with an answer.

“I’ve been looking to finish my bachelor’s and Abby said she still had some contacts at the University of Michigan,” Patty finally explained, taking the envelope from Erin and turning it over in her hands. She didn’t open it.

“Why not try somewhere around here?” Holtzmann questioned with a short laugh but her eyebrows furrowed as she pushed her goggles up onto her forehead.

Patty let out a dejected sigh. “Been there, done that, baby.”

“Aren’t you gonna open it?” Erin asked impatiently, bouncing on her toes and tapping the table.

Patty took a deep breath and steeled herself, preparing for another rejection letter. Slowly, she opened the crisp, white envelope. She heard Holtzmann shuffle closer and felt her chin on her shoulder and her hands on her hips.

She pulled out the letter and skimmed the first few lines and covered her mouth with her hand.

“I got in,” she breathed out. “I did it. I got in,” she said louder this time with a loud, unbelieving laugh.

Erin clapped happily and reached over to squeeze Patty’s arm. “I’m so happy for you, I’m gonna go tell Abby. We should go out and celebrate.”

Patty nodded absently as Erin headed back downstairs with one final congrats. All Patty could do was read and reread the words she’d been waiting more years than she’d care to admit to see. She only looked up when Holtzmann pulled away from her and silently went back to working on her new weapon.  

Patty watched the other woman tinker half heartedly with the gun. Her lips were pressed in a thin line and her nose was scrunched up but not in the adorable way it usually did when she got excited.

“Talk to me, Holtzy.”

“I’m happy for you,” Holtzmann mumbled with a shrug.

“You don’t sound like it,” Patty pointed out. She reached out and hooked her finger through Holtzmann’s belt loop and tugged until she was facing her. “Holtzmann, please.”

Holtzmann let out a long breath before looking down at her feet, avoiding Patty’s patient gaze.

“Why does it have to be in Michigan?”

“I’ve been trying to get into colleges from here to Maine since I dropped out, baby.” Patty told her, rubbing the back of her neck.

“You didn’t tell me.”

“I didn’t want to get my hopes up because Abby didn’t know if her friend could come through. I was going to tell you as soon as I knew something concrete,” she promised taking Holtzmann’s hands in hers and tilting her head until she caught those big blue eyes.

“Michigan is so far away,” Holtzmann pouted.

“You don’t think I know that? I finally have the chance to finish my degree and I’m gonna take it. I want you to be happy for me,”

“I am happy for you, Patty,” Holtzmann insisted, surging forward to cradle Patty’s face in her hands. “Honest.”

Patty grinned up at Holtzmann and turned her head slightly to kiss Holtzmann’s thumb that was lightly stroking her cheek. Holtzmann gave her a small smile.

Holtzmann leaned in and pressed her lips to Patty’s, hoping to convey how incredibly happy and proud she was of Patty, but she couldn’t shake the sense of dread that had settled in the pit of her stomach.

* * *

“So how excited are you?” Abby asked later that night. 

Abby had dragged them from the second floor around eight to take them out for celebratory drinks at a bar they busted months ago that always promised a table and free booze. 

“You guys don’t even know,” Patty said a huge smile on her face. “It’s gonna be so nice not having that hanging over my head, you know.”

“Why did you drop out?” Erin asked, taking a swig from her beer. “I mean, if you don’t mind me asking.”

“I don’t mind. Uh, my mom got sick my last year and I left to help my dad take care of my brothers and sisters. My baby brother was only 10 at the time. Before I knew it 10 years had gone by and I kind of just gave up on going back to school.” Patty shrugged but her smile dimmed a little. “I had my books and a decent job so I was set, I guess.”

Holtzmann reached over and squeezed Patty’s thigh. “You’re gonna do great, babe.”

“Thank you, baby.” Patty grinned again puckered her lips at Holtzmann who didn’t waste any time pecking them with her own.

Abby cleared her throat and they both turned their attention back on their friends.

“How are you guys gonna do the whole long distance thing,” she asked with a giggle. She’d clearly had more than her fair share of beer for the night.

Holtzmann frowned a little and started picking at the chipped wood on the table while Patty let out a short sigh.

“We haven’t really talked about it yet,” Patty answered for them.

Erin coughed loudly and pinched Abby’s side earning her a glare.

“It’s none of our business, anyways,” she said hurriedly, not glancing at Patty or Holtzmann. “Right, Abby?”

Abby didn’t answer, her head was pillowed on her folded arms on the table.

“I think it’s time to go,” Patty suggested, already standing to help Erin with Abby.

“Yep.”

* * *

“How are we going to do the long distance?”

“I’m sleeping right now,” Patty grumbled in answer to Holtzmann’s question.

“And I’m asking a serious question,” Holtzmann countered lightly nudging Patty with her foot under the covers.

“I don’t know, baby.”

“Come on, Patricia.”

“You really gon’ full name me at 4 in the morning,” Patty sighed, rolling over to face her girlfriend, clearly she wasn’t going to let this go regardless of the late, or rather early, hour.

“You did it to me earlier,” Holtzmann pointed out petulantly, crossing her arms over her chest.

“That’s not the point. Why are you so worried about this? I just got the acceptance letter today.”

“Long distance relationships don’t work,” Holtzmann mumbled, looking down at the dark purple sheets on Patty’s bed.

“Says who?”

Silence.  

“Says who, Holtzy?” Patty urged, coaxing Holtzmann’s arms away from her chest and taking her hand.

“Everyone,” Holtzmann finally answered, barely above a whisper.

“They’re not us, baby. Listen to me,” she waited until Holtzmann met her eyes. “I love you and it’s gonna take a hell of a lot more than a little bit of distance to get rid of me. I’m up for it, if you are.”

“Of course I am. I love you,” Holtzmann told her, squeezing her hand tightly in hers. “I don’t know what I’d do without my Patty Cakes.”

“There you have it. I’m not going anywhere, you’re not going anywhere, everything else will work itself out.”

“You’re the best, do you know that?” Holtzmann grinned at Patty, leaning over to bump her forehead against Patty’s.

“You mighta mentioned it a few times,” Patty smiled sweetly at her Holtzy and kissed her cheek. “Can I go back to sleep now?”

“I guess, or we could...you know,” she waggled her eyebrows suggestively.

“You don’t get to wake me up in the middle of the night and then get sex,” Patty told her flatly. She quickly pecked her lips before rolling over to try and get a few more hours of sleep before they had to be back at the firehouse. “Good night.”

“‘Night.”


	2. Chapter 2

Holtzmann counted down each and every day before Patty left for Michigan. She kept the calendar hidden under the couch in the rec room and ticked the days off as they passed. Between busting ghosts and helping Patty pack for school, Jillian Holtzmann spent every waking moment doing her best to show Patty how much she loved her even when she couldn’t always articulate those feelings. If Patty was going to be over 600 miles away for almost an entire year then she was going to shower her with enough love and affection to get them both through until May. 

Friday had become their unofficial date night and even though it was supposed to be Patty’s turn to pick what they do, Holtzmann had a surprise up her sleeve. Patty was leaving in a week; she wanted to do something special.

“I thought it was my turn,” Patty commented from her spot on the couch. She was folding laundry, sorting out what she was taking with her to Michigan.

“It is,” Holtzmann agreed, “but I kind of already have something planned.”

Patty eyed Holtzmann thoughtfully for a moment before shaking her head. “Sweetie, I’ve still got so much to do before Friday. I was kinda hoping we could stay in tonight.”

Holtzmann grinned widely and spun around on the other end of the couch so that she was hanging upside down with her feet thrown over the back. 

“It just so happens, my dear Patty, that we won’t have to take a single step outside this very apartment.” Holtzmann gestured wildly around the living room and winked at Patty.

“Alright, you got me,” Patty conceded, going back to her folding, “But you have to help with this.” She threw the handful of Holtzmann’s clothes that had made it’s way into her laundry at the other woman.

Holtzmann gathered the small pile of clothes twisted to sit upright again. She dropped them on the couch beside her and popped off the cushion.

“No can do, Pats,” she said shaking her head, “Mama’s got work to do.”

Patty rolled her eyes. “Stop calling yourself that, it’s not cute.”

Holtzmann huffed and started for the kitchen. “Whatever you say,” she said and made her way into the other room.

“Holtzy!” Patty yelled, “What are you doing in there? Please don’t burn down the building.”

Holtzmann stuck her head back into the living room. “Relax, Patty. I’ve got everything under control,” she paused, “mostly.”

She disappeared again and Patty shook her head and glanced at the pile of Holtzmann’s clothes falling off the couch.

“I’m not folding your clothes!”

~

Once Patty finished with her laundry, she tried going into the kitchen to see what Holtzy was up to, but was stopped by Holtzmann holding the door closed.

“What are you doing?” She asked pushing on the door.

“It’s a surprise,” Holtzmann explained, her voice coming out strained as she kept the door closed. “I left something on the bed for you.”

Patty stepped back from the door and heard Holtzmann slip to the floor with a flop. “You alright?”

“Just peachy,” Holtzmann yelled through the door.

Patty eyed the door nervously for a few moments, tempted to check and make sure Holtzmann wasn’t completely destroying her kitchen, but resisted. It didn’t smell like anything was burning and there wasn’t a excessive amount of banging either, so she decided to let her be.

She wandered into her bedroom and found a box sitting in the middle of the bed that definitely hadn’t been there when she got her clothes earlier. She narrowed her eyes and cautiously approached it. The box was gold and wrapped in a black ribbon and Patty lifted the top off with one finger.

Inside was a beautiful purple dress. Patty pulled it out of the box and held it up the her front. It came down to her knees,had long sleeves and a plunging neckline that would show off her cleavage perfectly.

“What is she up to?” she muttered to herself as she moved around the bed to her closet to start getting ready.

~

Patty emerged from the bathroom just as Holtzmann came down the hall looking for her and stopped in her tracks. Her eyes raked over Patty’s body and she licked her lips.

“You look ravishing,” she purred as she sauntered up to Patty and slid her hands around her waist. The dress hugged every one of Patty’s curves in the most glorious way and Holtzmann couldn’t keep her hands to herself. She had to remind herself that she had a whole date planned.

Patty placed her hands on Holtzmann’s shoulders and gave her a once over. She’d changed out of the sweatpants and tank top she’d been wearing earlier and into a pair of black dress pants and a white button down shirt, the top buttons undone with the sleeves rolled up and a thin black tie tied loosely around her neck. It was a good look and Patty had to resist the urge to pull the other woman into the bedroom by her tie.

“Allow me to show you to our table madam,” Holtzmann said in an exaggerated French accent and held her arm out for Patty to take.

Patty giggled and allowed herself to be lead to her own kitchen, but when Holtzmann opened the door she barely recognized the room. The two person table was covered in a white tablecloth and set for two with a few candles as the center piece. The counters were covered with white candles providing the room with a soft glow. There was even soft piano music playing from the speaker she kept on the window sill.

Patty couldn’t believe her eyes and her mouth hung open as she took it all in. How had Holtzy put all of this together so quickly? She glanced over at the other woman and found her staring at Patty with a pleased smile that usually graced her lips after she built a new weapon.

“What do you think?” Holtzmann asked, suddenly looking unsure of herself.

“This is amazing,” Patty told her, bending to  press a chaste kiss to Holtzmann’s lips. She pulled back and wiped the smudge of lipstick from the corner of her mouth.

“Dinner awaits,” Holtzmann lead Patty to the table and pulled out her chair for her. She poured them both glasses of wine before moving over to the stove to dish out spaghetti and meatballs for the both of them.

“Did you make all this?” Patty asked when Holtzmann placed the plate in front of her and sat down across from her.

“I did,” Holtzmann confirmed as she tucked a paper towel into the collar of her shirt and immediately started twirling her fork in her spaghetti.

“I gotta admit this is way better then what I wanted to do tonight.”

“Is that so? What did you want to do on this fine evening?”

“Netflix and take out, baby.” Patty admitted, snorting into her wine glass at the way Holtzmann slurped a forkful of spaghetti into her mouth.

“I win,” she exclaimed happily, grinning at Patty.

Patty rolled her eyes playfully. “It’s not a contest, Holtzy, but it was a nice surprise. I’ll have to step up my game for next time.”

Holtzmann’s smile faltered slightly, but she quickly covered it up by shoving a huge chunk of meatball in her mouth.

“Why’d you really do all this, baby?” Patty asked quietly.

Holtzmann shrugged and pushed the noodles around her plate, avoiding Patty’s gaze.

“Holtzmann?”

“I wanted to do something nice before you left, you know to show how much I love you,” Holtzmann answered and downed the rest of her wine.

“I appreciate it, but I already know you love me,” Patty reached out to take Holtzmann’s hand across the table. “You didn’t have to go to all this trouble.”

“It was no trouble at all,” Holtzmann waved her hand dismissively. “Anything for you Patty.”

Patty smiled “You so sweet baby.”

Holtzmann grinned and brought Patty’s hand to her lips and kissed her knuckles.

“So what do you have planned for dessert?” Patty asked in a low tone and Holtzmann’s eyes widened.

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” she answered coyly and winked.

“Well if it involves that shirt and this dress on the floor, I’m up for anything.”

“Oh, you saucy minx.”

Patty smirked and took the last sip of her wine.

* * *

The rest of the week flew by and before they knew it, they only had one day left before Patty left.

That day, Holtzmann threw herself into her work to distract herself from the box of Patty’s stuff sitting near the stairs. Patty was in her office finishing up some of her research and organizing it for the team to use in her absence. They only emerged from their respective caves when Erin came and got them for a bust. 

“That was awesome!” Abby whooped as they made their way out of the restaurant and to the Ecto, swinging the ghost trap between her and Erin. They loaded their gear into the back of the herse before getting into the car.

Erin shook some ectoplasm off her sleeve before getting into the driver’s seat. “Why does this always happen to me?”

Patty snorted, climbing into the passenger seat, “You’re like a magnet for that stuff, man. Maybe Holtzy could make something to counter it, you know?”

There was no witty reply from Holtzmann and Patty turned around to find Holtzy slumped down in the backseat, staring out the window with a frown on her face.

“What do you think Holtzy?” she asked, startling the other woman out of whatever place she’d gone to in her head.

“Huh?” Holtzmann blinked a few times, looking a little dazed.

“Think could figure out a solution to Erin’s ectoplasm problem?” Abby laughed elbowing Holtzmann in the ribs.

“I suggest carrying an umbrella,” she suggested, though her tone was flat. She went back to staring out the window as Erin pulled the car away from the curb.

Abby looked at Patty, her concern written all over her face, and opened her mouth to say something but Patty shook her head to stop her. Patty knew what was wrong with Holtzmann, and she knew she wouldn’t want to talk about it with an audience. Girlfriend trumped best friend on this one.

The rest of the ride back to the firehouse was silent save for the radio quietly playing in the background. When Erin stopped the car, Holtzmann all but flung herself from the vehicle and hurried into the building. Patty rushed after her and found her already stripping out of her coveralls.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” She asked, opening her own locker and unzipping her coveralls.

“Talk about what?”

“You’re upset.” Patty stated, passing the vest that Holtzmann had tossed haphazardly into her locker when they changed earlier back to Holtzy.

“No I’m not,” Holtzmann lied.

Patty sighed, but decided to let it go. She didn’t want to argue with Holtzy, not tonight. She looked down at her watch and figured they could get away with leaving a few hours early.

“Let’s go home,” she said and closed her locker, back in her regular clothes.

“I’ve got a lot of stuff to do upstairs,” Holtzmann started to rattle off the list of projects she was working on and started backing up toward the stairs.

Patty followed her and reached out to take her hand and stop her from starting up the stairs.

“Ignoring the problem isn’t going to make it go away.” she said quietly and Holtzmann huffed out a breath.

“But you’re going away,” she mumbled, looking down at her feet.

Patty shook her head. “Not forever and not right this second. Let’s just go home.”

Holtzmann looked up into Patty’s eyes and nodded. “Okay.”

Patty smiled and squeezed Holtzmann’s hand before pulling her toward the door.

“You guys aren’t leaving yet are you?” Erin asked as they passed her and Abby standing at their own lockers.

“Gotta call it a night,” Holtzmann answered, moving to wrap her arms around Patty’s middle.  

“Oh um,” Erin looked over at Abby, “we have something for you before you go.”

“Cool. What is it?” Patty questioned looking around.

“It’s upstairs,” Abby pointed at the ceiling. “Come on.”

She lead the way to up the stairs and to the rec room. Inside, a banner hung on the wall saying “Good Luck Patty” and there were balloons all over the floor. There were pizzas and a cake on the table in the corner and Kevin was already munching on a slice of pizza in one of the bean bag chairs.

Patty looked at her teammates.“You guys did this for me?”

“Of course,” Abby said, lightly elbowing Patty playfully in the arm. “We had to send you off right.”

“Surprise,” Kevin mumbled around a large bite of pizza, waving at them as they walked in.

Patty beamed at her friends. “Thanks y’all.”

* * *

“I got you a little something as a good luck slash going away gift,” Erin announced after they’d finished their pizza and moved to the couches. Abby and Erin sat side by side on the small couch while Holtzmann sat curled in Patty’s lap in the recliner and Kevin seemed content in one of the bean bag chairs.

“Y’all know I’m not going to be gone forever right? I’ll be back in few months,” Patty pointed out, but accepted the gift wrapped neatly in silver wrapping paper from Erin. 

“We know, but it’s not gonna be the same around here without you,” Erin argued. “Open it.” 

Patty couldn’t argue with that and didn’t waste another moment before ripping the paper away to reveal a brand new laptop bag. “Thank you, Erin.” she said excitedly turning the bag over in her hands a few times before showing it to Holtzmann.

“I noticed the strap on your old one was starting to rip. I figured you could use a new one,” Erin explained, shrugging as she blushed slightly.

“This is awesome. Thank you.”

“I guess since we’re doing presents, I got you something too,” Abby said, reaching around the couch and pulling a bag with blue polka dots into her lap before passing it over to Patty.

“You didn’t have to,” Patty started to protest but Holtzmann shushed her and shook the bag enticingly.

“Think of them as early birthday presents,” Abby suggested with a barely contained grin, clearly excited about whatever she’d gotten for Patty.

Holtzmann held the bag as Patty fished out all the blue tissue paper out and pulled a navy blue hoodie with a bright yellow “M” on the front from the bottom of the bag.

Patty let out a short laugh and held up the hoodie to get a good look at it. “Thank you, Abby. This is great.”

Abby reached out for a high five that Patty happily obliged. “Now we can match. I still have mine from way back when.”

“I’ve got mine too,” Erin piped up and smiled over at Abby and they held each other’s gaze like they were having a whole conversation without words. Or that’s what it looked like to Patty anyways.

“Ooh, my turn,” Kevin exclaimed excitedly and thrust his present, wrapped in the comic section of the newspaper, in the air for Patty to take.

Patty eyed the gift nervously before taking it and ripping the newspaper away to reveal a picture frame with the word “Family” carved into the dark wood. The picture inside was of all five of them, taken on the first floor of the firehouse. That day, Abby and Erin had been taking pictures for their new book cover and Patty had suggested a team photo. They had the one where they were all smiling at the camera hanging on the fridge in the kitchen, but this one was one of the silly ones. Abby had Erin lifted up like the finale of their childhood science fair project, Kevin was stood off to the side in a superhero pose with his hands on his hips, and Patty was holding Holtzmann piggyback. Her mouth was open in the middle of a laugh as Holtzmann winked at the camera, giving her signature two fingered salute.

They’d had a lot of fun that day and it suddenly became real that in only a few hours she would be leaving all this behind for a very long time. It was a little overwhelming.

“You alright there, Patty?”

Holtzmann’s voice pulled her out of her thoughts and only then did Patty notice the tears that had begun to drip down her cheeks. She looked up as Holtz reached out to wipe them away and nodded, unable to speak around the lump in her throat. 

“So do you like it?” Kevin insisted impatiently, poking Patty’s leg to get her attention.

Patty cleared her throat and glanced at the framed picture one more time. “This is the best, Kev. Thank you.”

“Can I see?” Abby asked and Patty happily passed the gift over for Abby and Erin to get a good look at it. Abby laughed and pointed while Erin looked slightly embarrassed.

“Good job, Kevin.” Abby praised as she handed it back to Patty who tucked it safely in the bag with the sweatshirt. Kevin beamed.

They lapsed into a comfortable silence until Erin broke it with a wistful sigh. “We’re going to miss you.”

“It’s not going to be the same without you around here, that’s for sure.” Abby agreed.

“I’m gonna miss y’all too. So much, but it’s only temporary. I’ll be back before you know it.” Patty felt a pang in her chest. These women and Kevin had become her family and made themselves a permanent home in her heart; it was going to be weird not seeing them every day.

“Where’s she going?” Kevin whispered to Abby and the whole room rolled their eyes.

“Oh Kevin,” Patty couldn’t help but laugh.

She was really going to miss them and it was finally beginning to sink in just how far away New York would soon be. 


	3. Chapter 3

“I got you something too,” Holtzmann told her once they were back at Patty’s apartment. 

They’d left the firehouse not long after the gifts, not without many hugs and a few tears, and were getting ready for bed despite the relatively early hour. Holtzmann was sitting at the foot of the bed while Patty stood by her dresser, changing into her pajamas. 

“You really didn’t have to, baby. I wasn’t expecting anything,” Patty assured her moving over to the bed. She started to rearrange the pillows and pulled back the blankets on her side of the bed. 

“I’ve had this for a while,” Holtz argued, glancing over her shoulder when she felt the bed dip behind her. 

Patty didn’t say anything and leaned back against the headboard. She stared at the back of Holtzy’s head until it became clear that Holtz wasn’t planning on elaborating any time soon. 

“What is it?” She finally asked when her curiosity got the best of her. 

Holtzmann remained silent, staring down at her lap for a few more beats before letting out a shaky breath. She turned her head and winked at Patty over her shoulder with her usual bravado, but Patty could see the hint of uncertainty swimming in her eyes.

“Close your eyes,” she instructed and Patty obliged without hesitation. 

Patty felt the bed move as Holtzmann stood from the end and listened to the sound of her feet lightly hitting the floor as she made her way around the bed to Patty’s side. She let out an oomph when Holtzmann jumped into her lap and straddled her thighs. Patty smiled, eyes still closed, and couldn’t resist reaching out to run her hands over the soft skin on Holtzy’s thighs that wasn’t covered by the boxers she wore. 

“Can I open my eyes now?” 

“Patience,” Holtzmann purred into her ear, sending a shiver down Patty’s spine. 

Patty bit her lip and waited for Holtzmann to situate herself in her lap. 

“Alright, you can open them now,” Holtzmann told her after a few more seconds. 

Patty opened her eyes and it took a second for the woman in front of her to come into focus. Holtzmann was chewing on her bottom lip, her eyes focused on the wall behind her head. Patty realized she was holding her hand out. She looked down and her breath caught in her throat. 

In the palm of Holtzmann’s hand was a ring, sparkling in the light of the lamp on her bedside table. It was a simple ring, silver band and single stone at the center, but it was the most beautiful piece of jewelry Patty had ever laid eyes on. 

“Is this for real?” she asked, choking on her words as tears sprung to her eyes for the second time that day. 

Holtzmann bit her lip and stared into Patty’s eyes as she breathed out, “if you want it to be.” 

“You gotta ask me, baby.” she answered, her smile growing impossibly bigger. 

Holtzmann cleared her throat dramatically and took one of Patty’s hands in her free one.

“Patricia Denise Tolan, would you do me the extraordinary honor of becoming my wife?” She asked, her voice comically formal. 

Patty couldn’t help but laugh at her girl’s antics. 

“Marry me?” She asked much more seriously, the uncertainty returning to cloud her blue eyes. 

“Of course I’ll marry you, baby.” Patty answered and leaned in to press a quick to Holtzmann’s lips. 

Butterflies danced in her stomach as Holtzmann grinned, big and bright and slipped the ring onto her left ring finger. It fit perfectly. Patty held up her hand to admire how the ring looked and a few tears slipped down her cheeks. She couldn’t believe that actually happened even though the proof was right in front of her face. 

A thought occurred to her. “You wanted to do this last week, didn’t you?” 

Holtzmann shrugged and brushed a tear from her own cheek, embarrassed by the emotional display now that she’d done what she’d planned. 

“I chickened out,” she answered honestly. 

Patty let that one go for now and wrapped her arms around Holtzy’s waist to pull her flush against her chest. She touched her forehead to Holtzmann’s and sighed happily. 

“What do you think?” 

“I love it.” 

“More than Kevin’s present?” Holtzmann questioned, only half joking. 

Patty snorted at that and shook her head. “What do you think?” 

“Nice,” she smirked and reached down to play with the hem of Patty’s t-shirt. “What do you say we celebrate?” She waggled her eyebrows suggestively and leaned in to leave a trail of kisses from Patty’s collar bone to that extra sensitive spot behind her ear. 

“I say hell yes,” Patty answered shakily before holding onto Holtzmann as she rolled them over and captured the other woman’s mouth. 

* * *

Six in the morning came bright and early for Patty and Holtzmann. Neither moved at the sound of Patty’s loud alarm except to hit snooze. Holtzmann opened her eyes to find Patty already watching her. She yawned and blinked a few times before reaching out to run her fingers over Patty’s cheek.

“Today’s the day,” she whispered. 

Patty took Holtzmann’s hand in hers and gently squeezed her fingers. “It is.” 

“The cab is gonna be here soon.” 

“I know.” 

“You don’t seem to be in a hurry to get a move on,” Holtzmann pointed out scooting a little closer to Patty. 

“Everything is packed and by the door, I have my clothes hanging in the bathroom, the cab won’t be here for another 45 minutes. Let me have this moment, baby.” Patty said leaning in to leave a lingering kiss on her lips. 

Holtzmann wasn’t complaining in the least and got lost in the feeling of Patty’s lips against hers and her hands on her body. Goose bumps rose on her skin as Patty ran her hands down her arms and intertwined their fingers. The cool metal of the ring against her own finger brought a smile to her lips until the sound of Patty’s alarm blaring broke the moment. They broke apart, slightly breathless and laughed quietly at the interruption. Patty turned the alarm off and leaned in for another kiss, but Holtzmann pulled away before it could turn into anything. 

“You’re leaving. Today.” 

“Yes, but right now I’m with you and that’s all I want to think about because if I spend too much time thinking about how, for the better part of the next year, I’m going to be six hundred miles away from this, from you, I might not get on that plane.” She paused, reaching up to run her fingers along Holtzmann’s jaw. “And that would be real shitty because I’ve been waiting for this for a very long time. So please, let me have this tiny moment with my fiance.” 

Holtzmann’s eyes widened. She’d had no idea Patty had even thought about not going to Michigan. If she wanted to, she could say the word and Patty would stay right here in New York, but she could never be so selfish. She would do whatever it took to make Patty happy and if that meant letting her go for a short time then she would. 

“Okay,” she breathed out and Patty smiled. 

“Kiss me, baby.” 

“Alright.” 

* * *

They  barely made it downstairs in time to meet their cab at the curb. Holtzmann helped Patty load her suitcase and carry on bag into the trunk and they sat impossibly close the entire drive to the airport. They were silent but Holtzmann lightly twisted the ring around Patty’s finger, a small smile playing on her lips.

At the airport, Holtzmann unloaded the taxi and walked hand in hand with Patty into the departures terminal. They walked together until they reached the line for security and stopped, standing a few feet away from the people shuffling through the long lines toward the security checkpoint. 

“This is it,” Holtzmann said bringing her free hand up only to let it slap against her thigh. She didn’t let go of Patty’s hand and Patty didn’t seem in any big hurry to let go either. 

“You’re gonna miss your flight,” she tried to joke but her voice caught on the end of her sentence and the tears she’d been holding in all morning started running down her face. 

Patty tugged on Holtzmann’s hand and pulled her into a tight hug. Holtzmann clung to Patty’s jacket and buried her face in her neck. 

“I’ll call every day, we can Skype, it’ll be like I never left,” Patty promised as she rubbed her hand up and down Holtzy’s back while the other woman cried herself out. 

After a minute or two longer Holtzmann took a step back and and wiped her nose on the sleeve of her coat. 

“It’s not gonna be the same, babe,” she sniffled and scuffed her boot against the laminate floor.  

“I know,” Patty said, lifting Holtzmann’s chin so that she would meet her eyes. “But I’ll be back before you know it.” 

She caught a glimpse of the clock on the wall, she was going to have to run to her gate if she didn’t get in line for security right now. Holtzmann quickly caught on to Patty’s line of thought and put her hands on Patty’s cheeks and pulled her down for a kiss. It was short, but sweet and Patty had to physically remove Holtzmann’s hands or she feared she would stand there forever. 

“I love you, Holtzy.” 

“I love you, too, Patty.” Holtzmann got on her tiptoes and quickly pecked her lips one last time before giving her a gentle shove towards the ever growing line for security. 

“I’ll call you when I’m settled,” Patty said and took her suitcase and headed over to get in line. 

Holtzmann watched her go and blew a kiss when Patty looked over her shoulder and waved. She waited until a few more people got in line and Patty was mostly out of sight before she turned and hurried out of the airport, fresh tears already stinging her eyes.  

* * *

By the time Holtzmann made it to the firehouse Abby and Erin were already there, coffee in hand as they looked over Erin’s whiteboard.

“Hey, Holtzmann,” Abby greeted her as she made her way to the stairs. 

“How’d it go?” Erin questioned, earning herself a light slap and pointed look from Abby. 

Holtzmann spun around and looked between Abby and Erin, a sudden rush of jealousy catching her off guard. 

“It sucked,” she admitted before quickly turning and running up the stairs. 

There were a few minutes of silence before Holtzmann’s usual playlist began to blast from second floor, but Abby and Erin could hear the distinct sound of metal hitting metal over the music. 

They shared a concerned look. 

“This is going to be a long year, isn’t it?” Erin asked, cringing after an especially loud bang that sounded a lot like one of the proton packs hitting the floor. 

“I hope for their sake it’s not,” Abby started but was interrupted, by a yell followed by a thump that was no doubt Holtzmann hitting the floor. “But, yes, it probably will. I’ll go check on her.” 


	4. Chapter 4

Patty sighed as she sat down at the tiny kitchen table of her apartment. It had been a week since she’d arrived in Michigan. Abby’s friend was able to pull some strings for her, and she was living in an apartment meant for the school’s graduate students but. It was small but it felt so much bigger being in it all by herself. Patty had grown used to having another person around all the time after so many years of living alone and to go back to that now was a little unsettling. She’d started leaving the tv on or playing music to make up for the silence. 

She was getting ready for her and Holtzmann’s first Skype date. Patty called her every night and they’d been texting constantly since she got off the plane, but Patty was beyond excited to see Holtzy’s face. A week was a long time, Patty was beginning to realize. 

She opened her laptop and checked the time, only a few more minutes until Holtzmann was supposed to call, but it felt like an eternity. Patty busied herself with checking her schedule one more time and making sure she had everything she needed for class in the morning. 

Five minutes passed and Patty smiled at the sound of a Skype call coming in. She quickly accepted the call and waited patiently for Holtzmann to come into view. The video was fuzzy for a few moments before Holtzmann’s face became clear. 

“Patty!” Holtzmann exclaimed and she clapped excitedly. “Hi.”

“Hi, baby.” Patty said with a wave. “How are you?”

From the looks of it Holtzmann was at her workbench at the firehouse. She was reclined back in her chair with one foot up on the table. She looked alright, but looks could be deceiving and Patty learned a long time ago that Holtzmann was particularly skilled at acting fine when she was far from okay on the inside. 

Holtzmann shrugged, “I missed your face.” 

“It’s only been a week,” Patty pointed out even though she felt the same. “What have you been up to?” 

“Oh you know the ushe, bustin’ ghosts and taking names,” she told her miming shooting a proton gun. “Kevin managed to break the coffee maker twice and now he’s banned from the kitchen.”

Patty pinched the bridge of her nose. “He doesn’t even like coffee.” 

“Exactly. Also I may have broken your proton pack.” 

“You what?!” 

She’d only been gone a week and it sounded like the place is falling apart without her. She expected it at some point but not this soon. 

“I fixed it,” Holtzmann assured her nonchalantly. “It may have been an unfortunate casualty in a short bout of Hulk like rage, but I fixed it and it is now hanging up patiently awaiting your return.” 

“Glad to hear it,” Patty said let out a breath and filed that bit about a “Hulk like rage” away for later. 

Holtz nodded toward her.“How are things over there in the mitten state?” 

Patty gave a one shouldered shrug. “Boring. I finally finished unpacking. I met my neighbors, they seem like good kids. Oh, and I got a job.” 

“Do tell.” 

“It’s just at the campus bookstore, nothing too exciting.” Patty shrugged and absently picked at her chipping nail polish.

“Not like catching ghosts, huh?” Holtzmann asked, her face scrunched up. 

Patty snorted. “No chance of getting covered in slime or getting chased by ghosts at three in the morning.”

“Sounds painfully dull.” 

“It is, but at least I won’t go broke while I’m here.” 

Holtzmann tapped her nose before pointing at the camera. “Can’t argue with that.” 

They lapsed into silence and Holtzmann frowned a little and started picking at her boot. It didn’t go unnoticed by Patty. 

“What’s that look for?” she asked quietly even though she was sure she already knew the answer. 

“I miss you,” Holtzmann admitted, swinging her foot to the floor and leaning her elbows on the table to get closer to the laptop. 

“It’s only been a week,” Patty repeated, this time with a resigned sigh. 

“And only two hundred and thirty seven days left to go,” Holtzmann tried to joke but her short chuckle fell flat.

Patty glanced at the calendar she had hanging from her refrigerator. In the corner of each day she’d written the number of days left until she would be back in New York. She started twisting the ring around her finger thinking about just how long she’ll be in this little apartment by herself. 

“Is that Patty?” 

Abby’s sounded far away on Patty’s end, but in a matter of seconds Abby came into view and waved at the camera.

“Hi, Patty!” 

Patty mustered a genuine smile for her friend, but the somber mood still lingered and she could see it on Holtzmann’s face as scooted over to give Abby room to talk to Patty. 

“Erin, come say hi to Patty.” 

Not long after Abby’s yell, Erin squeezed into frame on Holtzmann’s other side. 

“How’s it going?” 

“Fine, I start classes tomorrow and I found a job so I guess it’s not too bad.” Patty answered politely, her eyes never leaving Holtzmann’s as the other woman shrunk into the background. 

“Did you get the package I sent?” Erin asked referring to the box of books and other things she thought Patty might need from the firehouse including a proton gun and miniature ghost trap that were buried deep in her closet, just in case. 

“I did.” Patty confirmed, waving one of the books that had been sitting on the table in front of the camera as proof. 

“Good.” 

“Alright, that’s enough of these two.” Holtzmann announced, pushing Abby and Erin away from the computer. 

“Ah come one, Holtzmann,” Abby complained, but Holtzmann shook her head and snatched the laptop from the workbench and clutched it to her chest. 

“I don’t interrupt your dates,” she argued already moving to Patty’s office. 

Erin narrowed her eyes. “Yes you do, like all the time.” 

“I think they want to be alone,” Abby said, taking Erin’s arm and pulling her toward the stairs. “Bye, Patty,” she yelled over her shoulder. 

“I’ll talk to you guys another time,” Patty promised before Erin and Abby headed up to the third floor. 

Holtzmann closed the door behind her and went over to sit at Patty’s desk. She hadn’t been in the room all week, it was Patty’s space after all and it felt weird being in there without her. 

“How ya feeling about tomorrow?” she asked after she was seated in Patty’s comfortable desk chair. 

“I’m excited,” Patty admitted rubbing her hands on her pants. “I’m nervous too. It’s been a long time since I’ve been in a classroom.” 

“You’ll do great. You’re Patty Tolan, soon to be Holtzmann,” she said with a wink. 

Patty grinned at that. “Who says I’m taking your last name?” she asked teasingly. 

“Come on,” Holtzmann whined, “we could be Holtzmann 1 and Holtzmann 2.” 

“I don’t think so, baby.” Patty laughed and ran her finger along the silver band of the ring. 

“We can discuss it later?” 

“Nothing to discuss Holtzy.” Patty paused, but knew Holtzmann was far from giving up on the subject. “Have you told Abby and Erin, yet?” 

Holtzmann tapped her thoughtfully for a moment before shaking her head in the negative. “It hasn’t come up.” 

“That’s fine, we can tell them together whenever you’re ready.” 

“I’m-” Holtzmann started but was cut off by the sound of knocking. She looked toward the door and Patty could hear Erin’s soft voice mutter something about going out on a call. Holtzmann grumbled and looked back at the webcam, her expression a mixture of disappointed and apologetic. 

Patty sighed, “You have to go.” It wasn’t a question. 

“Duty calls,” Holtzmann blew out a raspberry. “Same time next week?” 

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world baby,” Patty promised with a smile on her face despite the pang she felt in her heart. “I’ll call you tomorrow and tell you how everything goes.” 

A little bit of Holtzmann’s smile returned at that. “I can hardly wait.”

“Holtzmann we gotta go,” Patty heard Abby’s muffled voice call out and Holtzmann sighed. 

“I’ll be right there,” Holtzmann yelled back, bouncing in her seat looking between the laptop and the closed office door. 

“Go,” Patty urged her, waving her hand dismissively. “Don’t let Abby and Erin have all the fun because of me.” 

“You are brilliant, I love you, and I will talk to you later.” Holtzmann rushed out in one breath and jumped out of her chair and bounded out of the webcam’s sight. 

“Bye, Patty,” was the last thing Patty heard followed by the swift slamming of her office door. 

“I love you, too, Holtzy,” Patty said quietly, her own voice echoing back at her from the empty room. 

She ended the call and closed her laptop. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath and then another, using the technique she’d suggested to Erin for when she got too excited, to keep herself together. 

Maybe things would get easier as time went on Patty tried to convince herself, though she felt how much she didn’t really believe it. Holtzmann liked to call them two halves of a whole and a bunch of other nonsense about soulmates and fate that Patty thought was ridiculous most of the time. But without Holtzmann’s familiar presence, she couldn’t help but feel like a huge piece of her was missing. A piece shaped like a tiny blonde  running around New York in coveralls and a proton pack. 

Two hundred thirty seven days to go. 


	5. Chapter 5

Patty sat in the school’s library, textbook open in front of her, when her phone started ringing loudly from her bag. A few heads turned as she fumbled around in her bag for the noisy disturbance before locating her phone and answering the call. 

“Patty!” Holtzmann yelled happily into the phone causing Patty to pull the device away from her ear for a moment. 

“Hey, baby,” she answered, keeping her voice low as not to disturb the other people studying around her. 

“Why are you whispering?” Holtzmann questioned and Patty could hear loud banging in the background.  

“I’m in the library.” 

“Are you busy?” 

Patty looked down at her book and how much work she still had to do before her shift at the bookstore started. 

“Kinda,” she admitted honestly. 

“Oh.” 

“I can call you later tonight, I don’t have a lot of time right now.” 

“Cool.” Holtzmann tried to sound casual, but Patty hear the disappointment in her voice. “I guess I’ll talk to you tonight then.” 

“Bye, Holtzy.”

* * *

"You are never gonna believe what happened today at the bookstore,” Patty started as soon as the phone stopped ringing.

“Patty?”

“Abby?” Patty questioned, pulling her phone away from her ear to make sure she’d hit the right contact. “Holtzy” followed by a green heart emoji stared back at her. Definitely the right contact. “Is Holtzmann around?” 

“Yeah, let me go grab her,” Abby told her. 

Patty could only assume she was on her way to find Holtzmann though all she could here was the sound of Abby’s breathing through the phone.  

“So how have you been? Haven’t heard from you in a while,” Abby said, making conversation to fill the silence. 

Patty grimaced. While she did her best to call Holtzmann at least once a day, to varying rates of success, she hadn’t talked to Abby or Erin in almost three weeks. 

“I’ve been real busy, sorry Abs.” 

“Don’t worry about it,” Abby promised. “I figured you’d be around this time.” 

Patty let out a little relieved sigh. She started to say something but a very loud, very close sounding explosion from Abby’s side cut her sentence short. 

“What the hell was that?” Patty all but yelled into the phone.                                                                                                                                                                        There was no answer from Abby for several long moments but finally she answered Patty, out of breath. 

“Holtz and Erin are testing new weapons, everyone’s fine, I’ll have Holtzmann call you back later.” she rushed out in one breath before the line went dead. 

* * *

_ “The number you are trying to reach is currently unavailable. At the tone, please leav-” _

Holtzmann grunted as she angrily hit end for the fourth time and tossed her phone onto the bed beside her. Her laptop was open in the spot where Patty usually slept, Skype open and waiting. Patty had texted her that she’d call when she finished her homework, but that was hours ago and now she wasn’t answering her phone. 

She’d tried starting the video chat several times as well to no avail.. She ran a hand down her face and glanced at the time through her fingers. It was starting to get late and if she couldn’t get ahold of Patty soon they wouldn’t have much time to talk before Patty inevitably called it a night to get some sleep for her early class. 

She picked up her phone and typed up a quick text and hit send. 

_ Skype date?? _

Holtzmann stared at her phone screen as if that would make Patty respond any faster. She waited and waited for the little check mark to appear to show that at the very least Patty had seen the message. She was just about to give up for the night when her phone chimed with a new text. 

_ Sorry. Fell asleep. Call you tomorrow.  _

With a frustrated growl, Holtzmann threw her phone toward the end of the bed before slamming her laptop shut. She threw herself back against the pillows and brought her hands up to cover her face. 

She laid like that until the tension in her chest  subsided and decided to go back over to the firehouse. There was work to be done and if she wasn’t going to be sleeping anyways, she might as well put that energy to good use. 

* * *

“How was your day?”

“Fine.” 

“Just fine?”

“Yeah.” 

“Erin said you guys had pretty big bust this morning,” Patty tried to coax more of an answer out of Holtzy. Talking about busting ghosts was a surefire way to do just that. 

“Eh,” was all she got. 

“Okay, what’s with the one word answers?”

“I don’t know.” Holtzmann answered and Patty could see the one shouldered shrug in her head. 

“Is everything alright, Holtzy?” Patty questioned, trying to keep the frustration that was starting to rise in her out of her voice. 

“No.” 

“Do you wanna talk about it?” 

“No,” Holtz grumbled. Suddenly the ambient noise in the room became louder and Patty could hear metal clanking; she’d been put on speaker. 

Patty let out a long sigh and realized she wasn’t going to get much out of the other woman while she was in a mood. Clearly she had done something that upset Holtz, but Patty could barely get her to talk about her feelings in person, it would be impossible to do it over the phone. 

“Call me when you actually feel like talking.” She said, much harsher than she’d intended and hit end before Holtzmann could respond. 

* * *

“You know what I miss the most?”

“What’s that?” Holtzmann took the bait, furrowing her eyebrows, unsure how they got on the subject of missing things. It sent a pang through her chest. 

“My bed,” Patty answered with a chuckle and Holtzmann savored the sound. 

“You wound me,” Holtzmann teased, clutching her chest dramatically even though Patty couldn’t see her. 

“I obviously meant other than you, baby, but I wasn’t playing about the bed. The one in this apartment is small and lumpy.” 

“Yours is waiting for you whenever you decide to visit,” Holtzmann said rolling herself up in the blankets on Patty’s bed and holding Patty’s pillow to her chest. 

“I know what you’re doing.” 

“Uh, no you don’t,” Holtzmann teased even though she knew where this conversation was headed, already preparing herself for the disappointment. 

She heard Patty’s sigh through the phone, and closed her eyes. 

“We talked about this, baby.” 

“Can’t blame a girl for trying, right?” She laughed, but it sounded fake even to her own ears. 

“I gotta go sweetie, my break’s over.” Patty said quietly. 

Holtzmann rolled her eyes and slapped a hand to her forehead. They just couldn’t catch a break. It was starting to wear on Holtzmann.

* * *

“I could come out and visit you, you know.” Holtzmann said offhandedly during their next Skype date. It had been over a month since their busy schedules allowed more than a quick phone call.

“And leave Abby and Erin hanging like that, I don’t think so.” Patty reminded her. Busts were a team effort and they were already down one member, they couldn’t leave them short two Ghostbusters. It wasn’t fair. 

“Or you could come home.” 

Patty sighed, frustrated, and shook her head. They’d been having this same conversation for weeks now it seemed and Patty’s answer hadn’t changed. 

“I can’t, Holtzy.” 

“Why not?” Holtzmann asked her usual grin faltering a fraction. 

“We’ve been over this before,” Patty told her, exasperated. “I’m not flying over there just to fly back a couple days later.” 

Holtzmann scrunched up her nose and leaned in closer to the webcam, “but you could. You’ve got a break coming up right?” 

“Plane tickets aren’t cheap baby,” Patty argued for probably the thousandth time and hurried to continue before Holtz could counter her argument. “And if I drove it would take over nine hours to get there. That means I would spend two of those days driving. There’s no point.” 

“Getting to see each other seems like a pretty decent point to me,” Holtzmann grumbled and crossed her arms over her chest. 

Patty took a deep breath to calm herself. “I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant,” she said, her tone much softer. 

They fell into a tense silence and Patty watched Holtzmann avoid looking into the camera, instead staring at something behind the laptop. This was not how these calls were supposed to go.

“I don’t want to fight,” Patty said, breaking the silence. 

Holtzmann’s eyes snapped back to the computer screen, and she frowned. 

“You think that’s what I want to do?” 

“That’s not what I said,” Patty sighed. “I just want to have a nice conversation since it’s been over a week since I’ve seen your beautiful face.” 

“And I want you here,” Holtzmann argued petulantly, completely ignoring the compliment and crossing her arms once more. “Even if it’s just for a little while.” 

“Baby, come on. Please don’t do this,” Patty begged. “Did you and Abby start building that new ghost trap?” 

“Not yet,” Holtzmann shook her head. “But don’t change the subject.” 

Patty shook her head. “We’ve talked about a hundred times. I want to come home just as much as you want me to.” 

Holtz pouted. “Then why won’t you try?” 

“Because me coming home isn’t going to make any of this easier.” Patty admitted softly. 

“It could help.” Holtzmann countered, her voice wavering slightly. She looked down at her lap. 

“You and I both know it won’t.” Patty reasoned, clenching her fists to keep from reaching for her computer screen. She would give anything to be able reach out and touch Holtzmann, offer some sort of comfort that wasn’t just words she was tired of hearing from her own mouth. “We knew this wasn’t going to be easy, but we’ll get through it.” 

Holtzmann continued to stare at her lap and Patty wished she knew what was going on in that big brain of hers. When she finally looked back up at the camera Patty knew it wasn’t good. 

“I don’t think I can do this much longer,” she whispered, but to Patty she might as well have screamed it. 

She gaped and scooted to edge of her chair as if the simple action could make up for the six hundred miles that still separated them. 

“Holtzmann,” she breathed out when she finally found her voice. “What are you saying? You’re just done trying after all we’ve been through? Things get tough and you call it quits? Is that what you’re telling me? Should I stop wearing this?” Patty could feel herself getting angry as she tugged the ring from her finger and held it up in front on the webcam. 

“Stop it,” Holtzmann practically growled, causing Patty to sit back in her chair, eyes wide. She still held the ring between her fingers. “Put it back on. Please.” 

“Why? You just said you’re giving up,” Patty argued, setting the ring down on the table beside her laptop. 

“I-I... That’s not what I meant. Patty, please.” Holtzmann nodded her head toward the ring.

“Tell me then. Why did you say that?” 

“I don’t know,” she shrugged, avoiding looking at Patty’s face on the screen. 

“You don’t know?” Patty scoffed, “It had to come from somewhere, Holtzy.” 

Holtzmann stared at Patty for several long moments before her face crumpled and she buried her face in her hands, a single heart wrenching sob tore out of her. “I  _ miss  _ you, Patty, so much that it physically hurts most days and I can’t take it anymore,” 

“So you think ending this is going to make that magically go away?” 

“No, I don’t know,” Holtzmann mumbled. “Maybe.” 

“You asked me to marry you and you aren’t sure if you want to be with me anymore?” asked Patty as she let out a frustrated sigh. This was going nowhere fast and she couldn’t help but feel gutted at Holtz’s inability to fight harder. 

Holtzmann let out a long, slow breath before looking up to meet Patty’s eyes on the computer screen. 

“You’re mad.” It wasn’t a question. She may be terrible at feelings and emotions, especially other people’s and she could see it in the tight lines of Patty’s face that she wasn’t happy. 

Patty didn’t answer immediately. She just stared at the image of Holtzmann sitting in her apartment. This was tough, Patty more than understood that. What she couldn’t wrap her head around was why Holtzmann was willing to throw the last year together away because things weren’t perfect at that moment. 

“Yes, I am,” she finally told her honestly. “I think it’s time to call it a night.” 

Holtzmann’s face crumpled but she didn’t hide it this time, and she  nodded resolutely. She knew she messed up big time and now she would have to face the outcome, whatever that may be. 

“I love you,” she said and meant it. 

“I know you do.” Patty sighed, exhausted. 

“You have to say it back,” Holtzmann insisted before Patty could go anywhere. 

“Goodnight, Holtzy.” 

Patty closed the laptop but not before she caught a glimpse of Holtzmann’s heartbroken face.  


	6. Chapter 6

“You okay, Holtzmann?” Abby asked the next morning. She and Erin had entered the firehouse to silence and found Holtzmann sitting at her workbench on the second floor, just staring out the window. 

Holtzmann shrugged and continued to stare. Erin gave Abby a look of concern and Abby silently waved her away. 

“I’ve got this,” she whispered, though she was sure Holtz wasn’t paying them any attention, and Erin nodded before heading back down the stairs. 

Abby approached the table littered with tools and metal parts and pulled the stool that Patty usually occupied over to sit across from Holtzmann. 

“What’s going on?” 

“Nothing,” Holtzmann mumbled, kicking the leg of the table. 

Abby couldn’t be fooled. After years of working together and being friends she liked to think she knew Holtzmann pretty well and that included knowing when the other woman was lying. Something had clearly upset her friend and Abby would be damned if she didn’t at least try to cheer her up. 

Abby narrowed her eyes. “It doesn’t seem like nothing.” 

“I’m fine, Abby,” Holtzmann insisted, and started tinkering half heartedly with the unfinished ghost grenade in front of her to prove her point. 

“Not you’re not,” Abby said, reaching out to cover Holtzmann’s smaller hand with her own. Holtzmann stopped what she was doing and looked up to meet Abby’s gaze. “Is it Patty?” she questioned, knowing their were few things that could affect Holtzmann like this. 

Holtzmann’s shoulders fell and she frowned. “I think I blew it, Abs.” 

Abby squeezed Holtz’s hand. “What happened?” 

“We had a fight.”

“You’ve had arguments before, right?” Abby knew they had, they bickered back and forth like any couple,but it was never anything they couldn’t get past. 

“Not like this. I think I’m gonna lose Patty,” she said, getting choked up. 

“I think it’s gonna take a lot more than one lousy argument to break you and Patty up. What was your fight about?” 

“I may have told her I couldn’t do this anymore.” 

“Jillian Holtzmann,” Abby chastised. “Why would you do that?” 

She cringed at her friend’s tone and the use of her first name, but knew it wasn’t undeserved. “I didn’t mean it.” 

“Does Patty know that?” Something told Abby she didn’t. 

“No, maybe, probably not.” Holtzmann sighed and ran a hand through her unruly hair. 

“You have to talk to her, Holtzmann.” 

“I tried. I called this morning but she didn’t answer and she’s in class until one thirty.” Holtzmann said with a sigh, nudging her phone that was sitting on the edge of the workbench. “What if we don’t make up?” 

“I think if you talk to her, really talk to her, you guys should be alright. You’re Patty and Holtzmann.” 

“Thank you Abby,” Holtzmann gave her friend a half smile. 

“Anytime, Holtz.” Abby winked. “Ready to get to work?” 

“Let’s do this,” Holtzmann said and they dove into their latest project, though Abby couldn’t help but notice that Holtz’s heart wasn’t really in it. 

* * *

Patty didn’t call Holtzmann back after her class. She didn’t know what to say and she didn’t want to argue again. Instead she called the firehouse’s main phone line. It was Kevin’s lunch hour, or however long he decided to disappear that day, which meant Erin would be manning the phones in the meantime.

“Ghostbusters, please leave a detailed-” Erin answered the phone cheerful with the usual spiel, but Patty cut her off. 

“Erin, it’s me.” 

“Patty?” Erin questioned, sounding surprised. “Do you want me to go get Holtzmann?”

“If I wanted to talk to her, I would have called her and not the office phone.” Patty pointed out. “I wanted to talk to you actually.” 

“Really? Is everything okay?” 

“No, I think Holtzmann wants to break things off with me.” Patty told her.

“I’m sure that’s not true,” Erin tried to reassure her. Holtzmann was crazy about Patty, there was no way she’d want to end things between them. At least Erin didn’t think she would after almost a year of watching the pair make googly eyes at each other day in and day out. 

“Maybe coming out here was a mistake,” Patty said with a sigh, finally voicing the thought that had been gnawing at her for weeks. 

“But you’ve worked so hard. Why would you want to give up now?” urged Erin. 

“It just feels like this is more trouble than it’s worth.” 

“Because of Holtzmann?” Erin questioned, incredulously. 

“It’s more than that,” Patty paused, searching for the right words to describe the level of homesickness she was feeling. “I miss everything, my city, chasing ghosts at all hours of the night with y’all, but I especially miss my baby.” 

“Can I be honest with you?” 

Patty could hear the hesitance in her voice. “Please do.” 

Erin took a breath before speaking. “You’re over halfway through, if you quit now you’re only going to regret it and if you leave because of Holtzmann you’re going to resent her for it. I know this is probably difficult right now, for both of you, but it’ll be worth it in the end. Don’t you think?” 

“Yeah, you’re right.” Patty agreed. She’d waited so long to finish her degree and she was almost to the finish line. As much as she loved Holtzmann, Patty was doing this for herself. That didn’t mean she was willing to lose Holtzy in the process. “It doesn’t make any of this easier.” 

“Since when has anything in life been easy?” Erin tried to joke, but quickly cleared her throat and continued. “What are you going to do?” 

“Well I’m not coming home now, I’ve come too far. Holtzmann and I are going to have to figure some things out though.”

“Good,” Erin let out a relieved breath. “Do you want me to go get Holtzmann now?” 

Patty almost said yes, but thought better of it. She didn’t have time for what would probably be a long conversation before her next class started. 

“No, leave her be. I’ll call her later. Thank you, Erin.” 

“Any time, Patty.” 

“I gotta go, but I’ll talk to you later.” 

“Bye.” 

Patty hung up the phone and continued to her next class, the gloomy mood she woke up in faded a little. 

* * *

Later turned out to be two days later after Patty had finished an essay that was due. She called Holtzmann through Skype and she had answered almost immediately. A tense silence settled between them, neither really knowing how to start the conversation they knew they needed to have.

“Did you put the ring back on?” Holtzmann finally asked, breaking the heavy silence. Her eyes were hopeful, but her frown didn’t fade. 

“No.” Patty answered honestly. 

Holtzmann accepted that and looked down at the keyboard, tapping the keys at random.  

“I want to know why you said what you said,” Patty continued. “Do you want to break up with me?” 

“No.” Holtzmann told her, looking into the camera. “I’m sorry.” 

“I don’t want you to be sorry,” Patty said, “I want you to talk to me, tell me how you’re feeling so you don’t feel like breaking things off between us will make it all go away.”  

“I’m not very good at feelings,” Holtzmann mumbled. 

“I know that which is why I’m gonna be real honest here.” Patty took a breath and let it out slowly before she continued. “I’ve thought about dropping everything and coming home so many times. Homesick doesn’t even begin to describe how I’ve felt some days, but I keep going because I know that this won’t last forever. It’s rough, yes, but it’s temporary. And the fact that you think not being together is going to fix anything really hurt me, Holtzmann.” 

“That wasn’t my intention,” Holtzmann told her earnestly. 

“Tell me then.” 

Holtzmann frowned and picked at her fingernails, trying to put her thoughts together before she put her foot in her mouth again. 

“I don’t know how to do this,” she finally said. “I’m happy for you and am glad that you’re happy doing this but a selfish part of me just wants you back here so things can go back to the way they were.” 

“You know I’d give you the world if I could baby, but I can’t come back yet.” 

“What are we gonna do?” Holtz asked. “I don’t wanna lose you, Patty.”

Patty tapped the table beside her laptop a few times. “We have to be honest from here on out, don’t let it get all bottled up, okay?” 

“I can do that,” Holtzmann nodded affirmatively. “You’ll tell me when you feel like quitting again?” 

“Of course.” 

Holtzmann smiled at that, the first real smile Patty had seen on her face in a while. It was truly a gorgeous sight. 

“I’ll give you the pep talk of your life, babe.” 

“I don’t doubt that.” Patty couldn’t help but smile back at Holtzy. “How are you feeling now?” 

“I still miss you, that’s not gonna go away anytime soon.” Holtzmann’s words came out stilted and deliberate, “I wish you were here.” 

“How many days do we have left?” Patty asked. She knew the answer already, had the countdown in her phone and in every calendar she owned, she just wanted to hear Holtzmann say it. 

“One hundred and forty five,” Holtzmann recited without looking. 

“We can do this, baby.”

“We’re Patty and Holtzmann, we can do anything.” 

“I love you, Holtzy.” 

Holtzmann’s smile grew impossibly wide and she sighed dramatically. “Music to my ears.” 

“One more thing,” Patty said, holding up a finger and fishing her engagement ring out of her pocket. She slid it back onto her ring finger and held her hand up for Holtzmann to see. 

“You, Patty Tolan, are a goddess.” 

“Flattery will get you everywhere, baby.” 

Holtzmann’s cheeks reddened and she bit her bottom lip. “Don’t I know it.” 

“Hey, don’t start nothing I’ll have to finish alone.” Patty warned with a raised eyebrow.  

“Where’s the fun in that?” Holtzmann shot her a mischievous grin.

Patty just chuckled and shook her head, she missed this easy back and forth with Holtzy. She knew things weren’t magically fixed and they were likely to hit a few more bumps in the road before this was all over, but for now she was happy to live in the moment. 


	7. Chapter 7

“Two more weeks, are you excited?” Abby asked, a huge grin on her face. 

“Of course she’s excited,” Erin piped up from her spot beside Abby. “Wouldn’t you be?” 

“Actually,” Patty cut in before the pair could go off on one of their tangents of nonsense. “That’s why I wanted to talk to you guys.” 

“You’re not staying out there longer are you?” Abby asked looking worried. 

“Absolutely not,” Patty quickly eased her worry. “I’m coming home early,” she told them barely able to contain the excited grin spreading over her face. 

Erin looked confused. “How?” 

“My exams are on Thursday and Friday this week so I won’t have to stay next week. I’ll be home on Saturday evening.” 

“Oh my gosh, that’s so great,” Erin gushed looking over at Abby to see her own elation mirrored on the other woman’s face. “Does Holtzmann know?” 

“No, I want it to be a surprise,” Patty explained. 

“Holtzmann is gonna freak out when you get here. You coming home is all she can talk about.” Abby informed her. 

“I’m telling y’all now so someone knows where I’ll be in case something happens.” 

“That’s smart,” Erin commented giving Abby a side eyed look that didn’t go unnoticed by Patty, even through the computer screen. 

“What was that look for? Please tell me you can keep a secret.” 

“I can,” Erin emphasized the “I” nodding her head at Abby, “which is more than I can say for this one.” 

Abby rolled her eyes and shook her head. “I can keep a secret,” she defended herself. “That was one time, Erin.” she said much quieter, tilting her head to give Erin a look that Patty couldn’t see. 

“You know what, it’s only a couple of days,” Patty interrupted their silent conversation. “Please don’t tell Holtzy.” 

“We won’t,” Abby assured her. “It’ll be great to have you back Patty. We all miss you.” 

Patty smiled. “I miss y’all too. Man, it’s gonna be good to be home. I never realized how much I would miss sleeping in my own bed.” 

“I think it might have more to do with who’s in your bed,” Abby muttered and Patty couldn’t argue with her there. 

She couldn’t wait to be home and have her life back. The four of them and Kevin had become their own little family and Patty was ready to get back to being a Ghostbuster. She loved her life in New York and now that she had her degree it was icing on the cake. 

A loud bang echoed through the otherwise quiet firehouse and Abby and Erin’s eyes both grew comically wide in the same moment. 

“She back?” 

“Yep.” Erin squeaked. 

“Alright, I’ll see you guys soon and I’ll text you on Saturday when I land.” 

“Bye, we love you,” Abby whispered, scooting closer to the computer to, Patty could only assume, cover the screen to keep Holtzmann from seeing their super secret meeting. It wasn’t that deep. 

“Love you too. Hey, Holtzy!” she yelled and saw Holtzmann walk behind where Erin and Abby sat barely looking up from the messenger bag slung over her shoulder. 

“I love you, Patty.” she yelled back and disappeared offscreen, followed shortly by the sound of her boots hitting the stairs. 

“She’s in the middle of a project,” Abby explained apologetically once Holtzmann was gone. 

“I’ll call her later,” Patty shrugged. She figured they would be busy, she honestly hadn’t expected Abby or Erin to be available for a video chat in the middle of the day so she wasn’t really worried about it. “Goodbye for real this time.” 

Both Abby and Erin gave little waves to the camera before Patty ended the call. She closed her laptop and sighed happily.

Only six days until she was home. 

* * *

By Friday night, Patty had finished her exams and was packed and ready to fly to New York the next evening. She sat at the kitchen table of the tiny apartment she could never bring herself to think of as home for the last time. Her laptop was open in front of her, waiting for Holtzmann to call, and the bottle of wine she bought to celebrate sat next to it with an empty glass.

Patty felt like she might burst from the level of excitement she was feeling. She was a little worried she would blow her own surprise the night before she was set to fly home, but she really needed to see Holtzy’s face. She poured herself a glass of wine and sat back to wait. 

The video call notification came in just as Patty brought the glass to her lips and she quickly accepted the call. Holtzmann’s face came into focus moments later; she was leaned back on the couch in Patty’s living room with a can of Pringles tucked into her elbow and a beer balanced on the arm of the couch. 

“I swear you get more gorgeous every time I see ya,” Holtzmann said in greeting, sighing dreamily. 

Patty chuckled and shook her head. “You are too much, baby.” 

“But just enough for you, my dear Patricia.”

“You got me there. What’s new?” 

“Well, since our phone call last night,” she tapped her chin thoughtfully a few times before proudly announcing, “I added a some new toys to the proton packs.” 

“Gonna tell me what they are?” 

“You’ll just have see for yourself in exactly seven days.” She grinned, that adorable shit eating grin Patty couldn’t get enough of, clearly pleased with herself. 

“I see what you did there, Holtzy.” Patty grinned herself. If only Holtzmann knew. 

“Why do I get the feeling it’s going to be the longest week of my life?” 

Patty took a sip from her glass to keep herself quiet and to hide her own smirk before she spoke. “Don’t worry about it, baby, I’ll be home before you know it.” 

“If you say so,” Holtzmann shrugged and shoved a chip in her mouth.

They lapsed into silence for a few minutes.

“I just want a hug,” Holtzmann broke the silence with her muttered confession. 

Patty tilted her head curiously. “You what?” 

Holtzmann sighed dramatically before averting her eyes from the screen. “I want a hug. A long, warm hug. It’s been so long.” 

Patty could have cried, but she held it together. “Good, ‘cause I plan on wrapping you up and never letting go. That’s a promise.” 

“Pinky promise?” 

“You know it.” 

They held up their pinkies to the camera’s and smiled at each other. 

“I’m so happy you’re coming back.” 

“There’s no place I’d rather be.” Patty promised with a wink. 

“Aw shucks you’re gonna make me blush,” Holtzmann gushed pressing her hands to her bright red cheeks. 

“Well, I ain’t lying.” 

“One more week, Pattycakes!” she exclaimed suddenly, clapping her hands together happily. 

“One more week,” Patty repeated and sipped from her glass. 

More like 24 hours. 

* * *

The next morning Patty woke up bright and early at 5 am. She tried to fall back asleep but her brain wouldn’t let her. She was just too excited for the day ahead of her and if she was honest, a little nervous. In the beginning, she thought she was quite clever in her plans to surprise Holtzmann early, but the longer she sat and waited for her cab to the airport the more she started second guessing herself.

What if Holtzy got upset with her? What if she didn’t like being lied to, even if it was a surprise for her? Those doubts and more chased themselves around her head until her cab showed up at noon. 

On the ride to the airport she sent a quick text to Abby. 

_ On my way to the airport.  _

Abby’s response was almost immediate.  _ Ok. Text us when you land.  _

_ Will do.  _

She hit send and took a deep breath before typing another message. 

_ Should I tell Holtzy?  _

_ I thought you wanted it to be a surprise?  _

_ I do. Will she be mad?  _

_ I think she’s just going to be happy to see you.  _

Patty let out a relieved breath and bit her lip. 

_ You’re right. See ya soon.  _

_ Can’t wait :)  _

* * *

The cab pulled up to the firehouse and Patty barely waited for the driver to stop completely to open the door and step out of the car. She collected her suitcase and paid the driver before rushing toward the firehouse door.

Erin was waiting for her when she opened the door and before she could put her bag down she had an armful of very happy particle physicist. Patty didn’t hesitate squeezing her friend back just as eager. 

“You’re back!” Erin whispered, stepping back from Patty and giving her a once over. 

“I am!” Patty grinned, she looked around the firehouse, noting the subtle changes that had taken place since she’d been gone. “Where’s Holtzy?” 

“She’s playing Mario Kart with Kevin,” Abby supplied from the steps as she descended them. 

“Abby,” Patty greeted her with a huge smile and opened her arms to Abby. 

Abby walked over and embraced Patty tightly. 

“Welcome home,” she whispered, giving the taller woman a few pats on the back before letting go and moving to stand next to Erin. 

“It’s good to be back,” Patty said rubbing her hands together. 

“Aren’t you going to go upstairs?” Erin questioned, noting the hint of hesitation in Patty’s gaze as she looked toward the stairs. 

“Yep,” Patty said swinging her arms back and forth. She didn’t take a single step forward. 

“You okay there Patty?” Abby questioned, eying her with concern. 

“I’m fine,” she didn’t even sound convincing to her own ears. 

“Do you want me to call her down here?” Erin asked quietly.

“Not yet,” she said sucking in a short breath and letting it out slowly. “I don’t know why I’m so nervous, man.” 

“This is a big thing, it’s totally normal to be nervous,” Abby told her, walking over to give Patty’s arm a comforting squeeze. 

Patty took a few deep breaths to calm her rapidly beating heart. This was it; she was two floors away from having Holtzy in her arms again and with all the emotions running through her she was paralyzed in the reception area. 

“Let’s go,” she finally said and motioned for Erin and Abby to go up the stairs ahead of her. 

Patty hesitated at the top of the stairs when the sounds from the rec room TV reached her ears. Holtzmann’s manic laugh drifted out to her ears and it was music to her ears. Erin reached for her hand and pulled her the rest of the way down the hall. 

“I hope you guys brought some snacks,” Holtzmann called out and an empty Pringles can came rolling into the hall. 

“We found something better,” Abby announced, walking into the rec room. Erin shot one last look over her shoulder at Patty before following Abby into the room. 

“Better than Pringles?” Patty heard Holtz ask and she saw her moment. 

She walked over and leaned in the doorway. Holtzmann was balanced on the back of the couch, her glasses hanging from one ear, and her eyes glued to the TV where she was racing Kevin on that children’s game they loved so much. 

“A lot better, baby.” 

Holtzmann froze at the sound of her voice, the cartoon racecar stopped and Kevin’s zoomed past. 

“I win!” He exclaimed happily, throwing his hands in the air, oblivious to what was going on around him. 

Holtzmann didn’t move, her knuckles were white against the plastic wheel in her hands and Patty could see her chin wobbling slightly. Abby and Erin stood off to the side, holding their breath while they watched the scene unfold. 

“Holtzy?” Patty questioned quietly when Holtzmann still didn’t move. 

Holtzmann sucked in a shaky breath and covered her face with her hands. Without warning she pushed herself off the couch and flew across the room, crashing into Patty and wrapping her arms around her neck. She buried her face in Patty’s neck and closed her eyes, too choked up to actually say anything. Patty threw her arms around Holtzmann’s middle and squeezed her tight. She kissed the side of Holtzy’s head and rested her cheek against the soft mess of hair tickling her nose.

They stood like for a long time before Holtzmann moved her face out of Patty’s neck and whispered in her ear.

“You’re here.” She sounded almost relieved.

“Surprise,” Patty said with a breathy laugh.

Holtzmann pulled back so that she was looking at Patty and let her eyes roam over her face for several long moments.

“I thought you still had a whole week left,” she said her eyebrows knitting in confusion.

“I got done early,” Patty shrugged. “Thought I’d surprise you.”

“Consider me officially surprised,” Holtzmann grinned, biting her bottom lip as her gaze drifted down to Patty’s lips.

“Kiss her already,” Abby yelled and they both looked over to see Erin blushing as she tugged on Abby’s sweater sleeve to pull her out of the room. Kevin followed them out giving the reunited couple two thumbs up.

They both laughed and looked back at each other before leaning in at the same time. Their lips met and it was like fireworks went off inside them. Patty walked Holtzmann backwards until her legs hit the back of the couch. Holtzmann cupped her cheeks and deepened the kiss.

Patty pulled away to take a breath and lightly bumped her forehead against Holtzmann’s.

“Let’s go home,” Holtzmann suggested, brushing her thumb along Patty’s bottom lip.

“I’m already home, baby,” Patty whispered and ducked her head for another kiss.

It was good to be back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp that's all folks. Thank you to everyone who commented and left kudos, y'all rock. You can find me on tumblr @ natashasbanner.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on Tumblr @pattysholtzy or @natashasbanner. Come talk to me about these two.


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